Envy

by Dave Lambert

The priest rolled his eyes once again, the gesture hidden by the veil of the confessional. The envy in him raged once more, curtained only by the saintly veneer of his priesthood. Barely composing himself, he continued the confession and finished it by doling out ten "Our fathers" and five "Hail Mary's" and proclaiming God's forgiveness to the sinner. This was the last confession of the day and he hurriedly left the church and strode to the isolation of his dwelling.

Father Davis was living a lie, He had heard yet another procession of earthly sins from his flock: Mary Jones' infidelity, Tom Downing's embezzlement of company funds, little Tommy Driscoe's admission of having not eaten his peas by secretly feeding them to the family dog. All in a heavenly days work for one of God's chosen few. But not quite anymore for the good father, for something had changed during his tenure as head priest of Saint Mary's church in the small Arkansas town. He had long since felt the saintly demeanor of his godly image erode away, only to be replaced by an evil hunger to live the life of the damned, the unforgiven, the banished, to experience the very incidents of greed, blackmail, and uncontrolled pleasure being chanted to him from the other side of the confessional. Oh, for a period it was just enough to vicariously experience his parishioners' guilty recountings: Don Frank's uncontrolled gambling, Sidney Spencer's preoccupation with pornography, or little Frankie Dylan's not so little spit ball fired covertly at his teacher's turned back. He then looked forward to the rites of confession with anticipation of second hand sensations of deceit, malice, sexual hunger, debauchery and decadence. Why, even Mabel Harrison's guilty admission of overeating was enough to satisfy his hunger.

But not any longer! He wanted more! To live a life of evil was infinitely supreme to not living, Hearing these admissions of sin was simply not enough and now they only served to strengthen his hellish resolve. And now the good father NO a plan. How could a very recognizable priest in a very small town experience the experiences of the SINNERS who he so overwhelmingly envied without being caught, or thrown in jail, or excommunicated, or have his vicious crimes blared on the local news channel for the world to see?

He remained stultified in his devilish dilemma for many months, his envy expanding exponentially with every new admission of guilt spoken from the mouths of the sinning saved.

Until one day, garbed in his priestly vestments in the darkened recess of the confessional, he listened to the hushed tones of Billy Baxter admitting to his petty thievery of Snickers bars stolen from the assortment of candy his mother had stashed away in the kitchen cupboard, candy she had gotten to distribute to Trick-or-Treaters for this year's Halloween

Halloween? Halloween!

Suddenly the gates of heaven opened and evil's light flooded him with irresistible temptation. Of course! The shroud of Halloween night would mask him and he could live out his unsaintly earthly desires in a night of terror, knowing full well by doing so the envy would finally subside, then dissipate and he would be re born and again live the life of a devout solemn messenger of Jesus carrying out God's holy plan.

Over the following days his plan quickly materialized: Via anonymous mail order an unmarked package arrived. Hurriedly drawing the shades of his bedroom chambers, he then tried the costume on and the transformation took place. And who else but Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the evilest of the evil, the wicked one, stood facing him in the mirror. He stared back for what seemed like an eternity in hell and the body that once housed Father Davis let out a blood curdling laugh and begin contemplating the fateful night...

..........

The young priest hurried into the church and made his way with nervous uncertainty to the confines of the confessional. It still made him nervous having to come face to face with he very parishioners whose sins he would only moments later absolve and the unfamiliarity of the new church only intensified his jitters, He had had no time to question the sudden transfer and Arch Bishop's uncommunicativeness in person to his questions only further mystified him. But that was behind him now and the sacrament of the confession awaited him.

And no sooner had he entered the priestly side of the confessional and sat down to begin a day of religion than he heard a muffled voice stuttering out the words, "Bless me father, for I have sinned..."

Little Frankie's voice broke as he delivered his utterances: "Father, I hurt someone ... real bad too... I think he's in the hospital. He had such a cool Halloween costume and I wanted it so bad..."